She Matters

Starred review from July 9, 2012
A tribute to her lifelong “fortress of friendship,” Sonnenberg (Her Last Death) guides a tour through the female friendships that have inspired her, broken her, and brought her back to life. Dependent on friends for the nurturing and solace missing from her relationship with her mother and sister, women come and go throughout the years to provide varied roles in her life. Some were friendships built out of mutual need, circumstance, or an interest that eventually faded to a faint glimmer where there was once fire. Others are fleeting moments in which two lives touch, that moment with unforgettable significance as when an acquaintance from college becomes a sudden pillar in a time of tragedy. Loneliness and the dire need to belong may also fuel a union, as Sonnenberg professes: “That spring day I felt dangerously unloved. I needed to be included anywhere, at some table.” Yet finding it “easier to be the hero... than to wait for rescue, afraid of inevitable disappointment,” it was difficult for her to trust help from anyone, “nervous as usual about uneven power, tallied debts.” Sonnenberg’s strikingly honest depictions of tumultuous female alliances and confessions about friendships are both moving and relatable; her depth of reflection and incandescent prose marks this exceptional memoir as a must-read to share among friends. Agent: Eric Simonoff, WME.