When Elves Attack

January 23, 2012
This small holiday package, the 14th Serge Storms thriller (after Electric Barracuda), packs a satisfyingly large punch of classic Dorsey craziness. At Thanksgiving, civic-minded serial killer Serge executes an unpatriotic thief the time-honored Florida way, in the explosion caused by deep-frying a frozen turkey. In December, Serge decides heâs âtaking Christmas large.â He and his stoned crony, Coleman, rent a suburban house, serve up a gingerbread house-turned-bong, and haunt the local mall dressed as elves to protect the public from seasonal felons and mean mall cops. Along the way they re-encounter familiar characters, including the G-Unit, a quartet of elderly spitfires on the lam from their retirement home. The snarky humor is a nice change from the usual Christmas-season sweetness, and Sergeâs paradoxical personality is at its most charming, whether heâs reprimanding a teenage girl for smoking just before torturing her boyfriend with a specially rigged set of Christmas lights or reveling in his first taste of snow. Agent: Nat Sobel, Sobel Weber.

November 1, 2011
Multitasking maniac Serge Storms (Electric Barracuda, 2011, etc.) slows the flow when he concentrates on having a down-home Florida Christmas. Roaring into Tampa, Serge has just two wishes: to become a family man like his old friend Jim Davenport, and to Take Christmas Big. And what better way to start than to return to Triggerfish Lane and move next door to good old Jim? Jim's wife Martha is already stressed to the max by her mother-in-law's annual holiday visit, complete with Mother Davenport's generous gesture of wiping down the bathroom with bleach before using it. But the sight of Serge's 1972 Chevelle pulling up at the curb drives excitable Martha's anxiety to fever pitch, especially after her teenage daughter finds the newly minted family man a worthy role model. In Serge's mind, no family is complete without its feminine side, so he beefs up his household, so far limited to his drug-addled pal Coleman, with the addition of City and Country, two chicks on the run since an incident in a Tuscaloosa bar. Now Serge can work on Taking Christmas Big, starting out by taking Country under the mistletoe and proving that a kiss isn't just a kiss. Then there's the 10-foot tree that almost fits through the front door and Coleman's dope-laced gingerbread. Christmas wouldn't be Christmas without presents, so Serge and Coleman, dressed as elves, head to the Tampa Mall to shop--and to discuss Martha's Thanksgiving Day dust-up with mall security. Although Serge is thinking big, Dorsey's holiday gift is small, with his new, linear story line a mere shadow of his mayhem-filled priors.

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